Hash #1002

Hash #993

hash #993Hash #993 was held on 12th August 2017 at Dunfermline, St. Andrew and the hare for the day was “crisis”.

Hashmaster’s Report: Hash #993
Attendance: 152

It’s  the weekend before Carnival in Grenada, parties going on all over the place and what do we do? Well, we’re hashers, so we do what we normally do – run around in the bush and drink beer afterwards, of course! And what a run, walk, whatever this was – “Crisis” & Co. really set out some nice trails for us. I ended up doing the Walker’s trail and I think it might have been the better of the choices as we got treated to pretty nice river section, as my pictures clearly show. The venue chosen for the hash did prove to be bit challenging (parking and no mike!), but we made it work. Food and drink was on point as well.

hash #993Of course as the hash was in Dunfermline, a bunch of us ended up at one of our usual after-hash haunts, the “Bumpy Corner” bar, after spending about half an hour stuck in the traffic in Grenville, grr. I knew I should’ve taken the Grand Bras bypass…
Next week, assuming that a certain two political leaders currently embroiled in a dick-waving competition don’t lead the world into global thermonuclear war, we’re in Perdmontemps, courtesy Cyprian.

On On

Hash #1002

Hash #992

Hash #992Hash #992 was held on 5th August 2017 at Marian Playing Field, St. George and the hares for the day were Germaine Thomas-Xavier and friends.

Hashmaster’s Report: Hash #992
Attendance: 159
Yes, well this one had me concerned because the ice for the beer arrived only a few minutes before the On-On was given for the hash, but it all turned out well in the end as it was nice and cool when I returned (I took the Runners’ trail). The BBQ finished before I could get a taste of it though, grr… and of course everyone who got a piece said that it tasted great!

Hash #992Highlights from this hash…
1. The Runners’ Trail was supposed to be four miles but it ended up being almost seven miles for me and a few others, thanks to two Walkers who missed a turnoff and made us think that we were on a wrong trail! I awarded them appropriately after the Devirginization Ceremony…
2. Four, count them, FOUR, regular hashers going off early during the Devirginization Ceremony! Must be Full Moon Fever or something. Of course the reward for the “premature ejaculation” (of beer) was have to stand in with the Virgins and get sprayed too…
3. Rockelle, Rockelle, what can I say? You surprised me girl, winning the bottle of wine that was donated by Fast Manicou by being the first to down your beer without using your hands. Well done!

On On

Hash #1002

Hash #991

Hash #991Hash #991 was held on 29th July 2017 at Bay Cottage Bar, Gouyave, St. John and the hares for the day were “Bling Ting” and Crew.

Hashmaster’s Report: Hash #991
Attendance: 160

It’s  been almost smooth sailing so far, and all of a sudden – disaster! Turns out that the next hash which was scheduled to start in Upper Corinth was actually going to be in Laura. Not only have we hashed in Laura several times, but the next hash after that was going to be only a mile or so away, and two hashes after that we’d be back in Laura again. So, I had to make a decision that was in the best interest of the hashers – another location had to be found for this week’s hash. So a few phone calls and WhatsApp messages later and the hash was moved to Bay Cottage Bar, just outside of Gouyave, courtesy “Bling Ting” and friends. And what a hash it was – great Runners’ trail (which I did) and the Walkers’ trail got good feedback as well. And of course, being a beach bar, it also turned out to be a perfect place to both start and end a hash. Good work “Bling Ting” on such short notice! Maybe we should do this more often…

Hash #991Highlights from this hash…
1. Walking by this pretty steep drop-off down to the river, I remarked “I hope no-one falls down there”, and then I looked over and saw some flattened bush, and said, “Hmm, it looks like someone did”. Sheldon Keens-Douglas, who was just a bit in front of me, shouted “He did!” and pointed out someone in front of him. And yes, the guy did look like he barrel-rolled a few times down the side of the hill, with bits of brush and mud all over the place. And not a scratch! Ok, one small one, but still… I told him to go buy a lottery ticket quickly before his luck ran out. BTW, I’ve already consulted my Naming Committee, and one has already been selected, so when I see you again…!
2. Catching “Foot Fetish” walking off with a bunch of stones in her hands. Oh “Foot Fetish”, if you didn’t have a name already, there definitely would have been one coming.
3. The Devirginization Ceremony seemed to be short a few virgins, one in particular. Oh well, I’ll catch you at the next hash – I don’t forget faces, muhahaha….

Hash #1002

Hash #990

Hash #990Hash #990 was held on 22nd July 2017 at Melvin’s Hideaway, St. Patrick with Rohan Japal & friends as the hares.

Hashmaster’s Report: Hash #990
Attendance: 147
I  believe that this was a Virgin Hare Hash, so I had a just a slight bit of concern when “Grandad” decided to have a look at the trail during the week and e-mailed me a note saying that they were going to convert it from a simple Runners and Walkers trail to Long Runners, Short Runners, Long Walkers and Short Walkers. My concerns turned out to be unfounded though as, based on the feedback from the other hashers, the trails were excellent. I did manage to almost pass out on the Short Runners’ Trail a few times, but I put that down to the medication I’m currently on rather than the trail itself. And of course there was a lot of mud too, though not quite on Grand-Etang level.

Hash #990Highlights from this hash…
1. A working mike that unfortunately worked up to two feet away from where I wanted to stand to hold the ceremony, so it was back to shouting again. Only nineteen virgins this time around though, so no worries.
2. Rohan wasn’t around to give an outline of the trails, so it was left up to “Cheap Fares” and “Grandad”, his Assistant Hares (a.k.a. Ass. Hares) to do the necessary. Rohan’s Ass. Hares did a pretty good job of standing in for him – just goes to show that it’s always a good thing to get a few Ass. Hares involved when setting a hash…
3. Oh, so many doing the wrong thing concerning the Devirginization ceremony! One couple who missed the ceremony at the last hash, two ladies with shower-caps on who were obviously informed beforehand of what was going to happen (“Stayfree” was fingered as the likely culprit, but he denied it vigorously), and two more that joined the ceremony late. They were all “down-downed” accordingly for their transgressions.
4. “Mucky Draws” was away for awhile so we couldn’t celebrate her birthday in usual hasher-fashion. Not a problem – we just celebrated in the usual hasher-fashion today. Happy 70th, “Mucky Draws!”

On On

 

Hash #1002

Hash #989 Bastille Day Hash

hash #989Hash #989 “Bastille Day Hash”  was held on 15th July 2017 at MonkeyBarz, Grand Etang, St. Andrew. The hares for the day were all the FSB’s (French Speaking Bastards).

Hashmaster’s Report: Hash #989
Attendance: 177

In the beginning, there was mud.

In the middle, there was mud.

In the end, there was mud.

The only thing that changed is how deep the mud was – which turned out to be anything from Teflon-like coating over rocks to knee-deep in some areas (and I got to experience all types, though not as “enthusiastically” as some other hashers, based on the several “AIYEE!!” sounds, and accompanying sounds of unplanned butt-planting, that I heard while on the hash). Thankfully the rain did hold up for the afternoon (I brought my automatic rain dismissal device with me – my waterproof camera), otherwise the mud would have been a lot worse. Unfortunately, there were not enough potential “candidates” for the Dirty Arse Muddy Butt competition, but I did get to subject the virgins to an impromptu quiz about hash terms, during which most of the participants failed miserably and were dealt with accordingly!

hash #9891. At last, back to a good working mic from the DJ. Let’s hope this trend continues…!

2. The impromptu Virgin Hash Quiz. The winner actually read the answer off of the Devirginization Certificate (yes, it was written in bold red hard-to-miss letters and was read out during the Devirginization Ceremony too, yet the first three contestants still got the answer wrong), so was “awarded” appropriately for that misdemeanor before being given the bottle of wine donated by Fast Manicou (John Hovan). I think I’m going to repeat the quiz sometime in the future…

3. Getting to celebrate Darren Faulkner‘s 50th birthday again as he had the misfortune of his birthday landing exactly between two hashes. “Mommy’s Boy” got to enjoy a birthday celebration though, being a dog, was probably wondering what the hell was going on…

On On

Hash #1002

Hash #988

hash #988Hash #988 was held on 8th July 2017 at Morne Longue, St. Andrew.

Hashmaster’s  Report: Hash #988
Attendance: 138

Yes, yes, yes… I love these hashes that take us deep, deep, DEEP into the countryside, and this one really delivered. Not too long, not too short, and just when I was beginning to wonder if it was going to be a “road march”, we veered off into the forest (and the mud awaiting us there) and there we stayed all the way until almost the very end. Great trail Kelly and friends! Food was top notch too (I enjoyed that HUGE piece of BBQ chicken I got fresh off the grille) and the DJ was on point too, and even organized a working mic in quick time so I didn’t have to shout the instructions to the 30+ virgins that decided to join us this time around. This time around I did go back to the Walker’s Trail, which I will probably stick to for the near future as it allows me to get back in before most of the once-virgin hashers try to skip the virgin ceremony, muhaha.

hash #988Highlights from this hash…

1. My assistant hash-flash Jamar spending five minutes trying to figure out why the camera’s viewfinder was showing only black, only to discover the lens cap was still on….

2. Celebrating Daniel Faulkner’s 50th. Of course his birthday does fall on this Wednesday, which is the middle of the week, so we may need to re-celebrate at the next hash this Saturday…

3. Finding out that not only was it Mike “Wet Lettuce” Bingly’s birthday, but that he also managed to dodge the devirginization ceremony so many years ago when he started hashing. Of course that transgression had to be addressed, so he was treated to the Down-down Triple – Dotty Potty, Wizard’s Sleeve and of course the Hash Shit Of The Week.

4. Che “Virgin Giver” Cummings decided to rejoin us after about two years of absence. So, having qualified himself as an “occasional hasher”, we “awarded” him accordingly. Welcome back Che!

On On

Hash #1002

Hash #987

Hash #987Hash #987 was held on 1st July 2017 at the Springs Playing Field, St. George.

The hares for the day were “Butter B” (Xavier) who was assisted by The “Bling Ting Crew“. The day was a little rainy but most hashers turned up to enjoy the fun and mud regardless.

For a hash in an area that is more town than country – the hares did a brilliant job! There was a runners and walkers trail and very little road – other than the killer hill to start the hash. There was a good section of some “virgin” trails and one or two back roads that most of us had never been on before..

Food, bar and music after the hash were enjoyed by all well into the evening

Thank-you hares for a great hash!

On On

Hash #1002

Hash #986

hash #986Hash #986 was held on 24th June 2017 at Tufton Hall, St. John. The hare for the day Troy “Double Entry” Felix chose a spectacular location for the hash. The pasture where we all met was filled with mango trees, dripping with ripe fruit.

“Double Entry” and assistants set 3 trails, a walk, a run and an ironman. The walk was achievable by all and both the run and ironman route had a long river section. The ironman trail had an almost vertical climb up and then a really fun slide/run back down a “little” mountain.

Some runners unfortunately took a wrongly marked trail and landed up on the top of a hill with no more paper – the hare “Double Entry” was duly punished for this after the hash. Food, bar and music were great and in the absence of our Hash Master “Grab de Pussy” our previous Hash Mistress Annie “Commando” gave instructions and held the de-virginisation ceremony.

Another wonderful hash, that was enjoyed by all

On On

 

Hash #1002

Hash #985

Hash #985 was held on 17th June 2017 in Clarenceville, Corinth, St. David. The hare for the day was “Wrong Erection” (Nolan Murray).

“Grab de Pussy” Hashmaster’s Report: Hash #985
Attendance: 146

Note to self – do not go drinking copious amounts of beer the night before a hash! I managed to drag myself out of bed around half past one in the afternoon to get ready for hashing, only to discover that the hare, “Wrong Erection” (Nolan Murray) had tried calling me around 6AM (good luck getting me up at 6AM on a normal Saturday, much less one where the remains of several beers and the food from last night were arguing in my stomach about who gets out first and from which end). I tried calling back several times, but no luck. When I arrived at the hash, I found out what the issue was – no tent! Oh well, not much could be done about that at this point, but I think we managed fine. Oh, there was no mike or music too, at least at the start, so it was back to shouting instructions at the virgins, but I think they all heard me because no-one got lost. As for the trail itself, of the three trails on offer I chose the “Long Walkers” trail and after about half an hour of walking and climbing up hills, I was reminded that no matter how ill you feel at the start of a hash… you’ll end up feeling a lot worse while doing it. Luckily the trail was only about an hour or so, and I was feeling a little better when I go back in. I decided to lay off the beer though, at last until my stomach returned to normal. I did partake of the food though.. 😊. Great trail, “Wrong Erection”.

Highlights from this hash…

1. No working mike at the start again, and of course I didn’t have my megaphone this time either. I’m beginning to see a trend here. I better walk with the megaphone next time to ensure that the DJ arrives on time with a mike….

2. A not-so-virgin virgin who signed up as a virgin but had apparently done another hash in Grand Anse. Apparently, the issue of whether or not one could be considered a virgin depended on what parish the hash was being done in. Well, that was her story. And she was of course rewarded accordingly. 😊

3. Four other virgins who missed almost the entire ceremony. Oh well, I have them a “special” short version 😊.

4. Congrats to our latest Hash-Daddy, “SatNav / Fast Manicou” (John Hovan), who had a baby boy last week. We rewarded him appropriately.

5. “SatNav” donated a bottle of wine to be given away at that hash. I was stuck as to what question to pose, so “SatNav” suggested asking who knew the name of his new boy. When I did, Ken Page immediately shouted “ALPHEUS!”. Hmmm… I sense collusion here…! Ken got the bottle of wine… and a date with the Dotty Potty.

Next week we’re in Tufton Hall, courtesy “Double Entry” (Troy Felix).

On-on!

Hash Master “Grab De Pussy”

Hash #1002

Hash #984

Hash #984Hash #984 was held on 10th June 2017 at Beaton, St Davids. The hare for the day was “No Name” John Adams assisted by the rest of The Bling Ting Crew.

There were two trails, a walkers and a runners – both were good distances (not too long) and had a good amount of bush and hills. There was an unusual twist to the hash this week in that there was a treasure hunt. In some of the blobs of paper along the trail there were hidden tickets that hashers had to pick up and redeem their prizes at the end of the hash. We had a fine time pillaging the blobs of paper either with a wild kick as you run past or a patient sifting through with your fingers. The patient sifters definitely were more successful than the wild kickers! We were strictly told by the hare that you could only have ONE per hasher.  BUT did our esteemed hash master “Grab De Pussy” listen – NO – he was dutifully punished at the end of the ceremony with the Wizards sleeve, Dotty Potty and Hash Shit of the week toilet seat!

Hash #984Most of the treasure hunt prizes were great – bottles of rum, wine and beer. There were one or two unusual prizes, Ian Roberts won a pregnancy test and “Girl Guide” Jamar – won a packet of Stay Fresh sanitary pads! To congratulate our hare on such a wonderfully thoughtful prize our hash master decided it was time that “No Name” John Adams was due for a hash name and he was awarded the name of “Stay Fresh”.

All the virgins were finally rounded up for the de-virginisation ceremony and David Smiley was given a down down for “leaving something” on the trail – he was caught by “Cradle Snatcher” for having a pee while on the hash!

Good food, music and beers at the end of the hash kept the party going a while. Thank-you hares for a great hash!

On On