Hash #997

hash #997Hash #997 was held on 9th September 2017 at Radix Park, Mt. Parnassus, St. George and the hare for the day was “Respect De Banana”.

Hashmaster’s Report: Hash #997
Attendance: 181


hash #997
Well, yes. No hills, eh “Respect De Banana”? That whole hash was a series of hills, no MOUNTAINS. I can’t remember any part where I wasn’t either going down at a 45-degree angle, or going up at the same angle, if not more. Thankfully it was not a long hash! It was just the right length in fact (referring to the Runner’s Trail). Very well done, though I suspect that me and the rest of the hashers have cut a groove into the side of one of those hills with the amount of mud we managed to remove with our shoes. Yes, well done indeed.

Some other things:
1.It was a happy 60th birthday for “Short Prick” (no, I’m not going into how he got that name) last week Sunday, so of course we had to celebrate it hash-style. So, I enlisted the help of six hash (slightly-used) virgins to help with the task. Here’s to many more, “Small Prick”. Birthdays, that is 😊.
2.Birthday celebrations for “Cow Tail” and “SatNav” as well. And you thought you got away…. Tsk tsk…

hash #9973.The Karma Bus finally arrived for “Anal Retentive”, who had been treating poor hashers who were receiving down-downs to what I’m going to call the “Karim Maneuver” – the dumping of a cold beer down the hasher’s back. Well, just like Monsieur Joseph-Ignace Guillotin eventually got to experience the device he helped to dreamed up, it was time for “Anal Retentive” to be treated to the move he’d been inflicting on others. Oh, and someone added ice – nice move 😊.

Next week we’re in Cabier.



Hash #995

Hash #995Hash #995 was held on 26th August 2017 in Moya and the hare for the day was “Crisis” and friends.

Hashmaster’s Report: Hash #995
Attendance: 139
Amazing. Positively amazing. I think “Crisis” found the only place in Grenada where you could run, walk, crawl, whatever for over an hour and encounter not one hill. Yup this was one “flat” hash. Really magnificent views (especially along the beach), but no hills. Not one. Ok, ok, there were a few small inclines, but nothing serious. Almost felt like we were hashing in Barbados. Ok, I’ve never hashed in Barbados, but I imagine this is what it would have felt like, seeing that Barbados has no real hills. Excellent job, “Crisis” and “crew” (the “crew” here being Ken Page, who lent a hand setting the trail).

Hash #995Anyway, “New Vagina” (Mona Bruno) is going to be leaving us for a while, as she’s off to China this week to further her education, so of course we had to send her off hash-style and all. But what to do, what to do? Then “Crisis” showed me this big bag of shredded paper that was left over from setting the hash, and suddenly it all came pretty clear Hopefully “New Vagina” will be able to get all of that paper out of her hair before it’s time to travel…!
Best of luck in China ‘New Vagina”!

Next week we’re in Vincennes..


Hash #996

Hash #996Hash #996 was held on the 2nd September 2017 at Grey Bar, Vincennes, St. David – with “Bird” being the hare for the day.

Hashmaster’s Report: Hash #996
Attendance: 174

Vincennes. Once you hear that name associated with a hash, two things come to mind – mud and hills. Well, that happens with most hashes, but particularly in the case of Vincennes. And this hash delivered both, though luckily for us we’ve been going through just a bit of a dry spell, so there was not as much mud as there could have been. But that didn’t stop quite a few hashers taking advantage of what mud there was – or was it the other way around?


Hash #996While Sherri Roopchand Wholesaleyachtparts and others showed off some amazing gymnastics, it was returning hasher Kishon Brathwaite that took the prize, with the full legs-in-the-air backward cartwheel down the last muddy section, ingeniously using his head as a brake, and thereby earning himself the hash name of “Skid Mark” in the process. Well done Kishon, er, Skid Mark!

Ok, let’s talk about hash-cake. You know like ordinary cake, except no baking is involved and the extra ingredient of one hasher is added? The type of cake that was declared banned a few months ago? Well, it was Girl Guide’s birthday, and some hashers who would go un-named (right, Rockelle Jeremiah and Karim K Chitterman? 😊 ) begged and pleaded with me to allow it just one more time. So, I finally gave in.

Hash #996
I didn’t expect them to use the WHOLE bag of flour! Sorry Girl Guide! Lucky thing that there was a river nearby to wash off!
So hash-cake is now back on the ban list.

All in all, a pretty good hash. Well done “Birds”.
Next week we’re in Tempe.


Hash #994

Hash #994Hash #994 was held on 19th August 2017 at ‘Nature’s Way’ Club and Bar, Perdmontemps, St. David. The hare for the day was Cyprian.

Hashmaster’s Report: Hash #994
Attendance: 200

Yup, 200 hashers at the first hash after Carnival. I wouldn’t have believed it. Anyway, this hash was just around the corner from me, and knowing the area it was going to be held, I expected it to be a good one. So I arrive at the hash and shortly afterwards “Grandad” pulls me aside and says “you need to look at what might be the start of the trail”. So we found Cyprian (the hare), confirmed it was the start, then went to have a look, at what turned out to be a steep narrow downhill track through mud and grass and whatever. Hmm… That might be Ok for 4 or 5 people. Probably not for 200 people running off at the same time though! So some last-minute changes were made and an alternative trail was put in place for those hashers with toddlers and the like. Of course, many of the hashers chose to take the muddy downhill trail anyway, with the expected results! No serious injuries that I heard about though, phew!

Hash #994The rest of the trail (I did the runners) was just right, a good mixture of road and bush, and just long enough to be a really good run without being tiring and boring. Well done Cyprian! Well, except for running us through the pea and potato fields, so you know I had to give you a down-down for that!

Some highlights:
1. “Jim Boots” (Jimmie Robinson) had recently become a citizen of Grenada, so of course we had to welcome him hash-style. “Jim Boots” is his Bajan hash name though, so we’ll need to find a Grenadian one for him. Suggestions welcome!
2. Birthday greets to Sherri, Ken and “Peak Freak” (Rofl Hostialek) – and of course we treated them accordingly.
3. So, we did the Virgin Quiz thing again. And again it took them about four tries to get the right answer to the question – “what’s the four things you should hear people say on a hash”. People, it’s right there on the certificate, LOL.

On On


Hash #993

hash #993Hash #993 was held on 12th August 2017 at Dunfermline, St. Andrew and the hare for the day was “crisis”.

Hashmaster’s Report: Hash #993
Attendance: 152

It’s  the weekend before Carnival in Grenada, parties going on all over the place and what do we do? Well, we’re hashers, so we do what we normally do – run around in the bush and drink beer afterwards, of course! And what a run, walk, whatever this was – “Crisis” & Co. really set out some nice trails for us. I ended up doing the Walker’s trail and I think it might have been the better of the choices as we got treated to pretty nice river section, as my pictures clearly show. The venue chosen for the hash did prove to be bit challenging (parking and no mike!), but we made it work. Food and drink was on point as well.

hash #993Of course as the hash was in Dunfermline, a bunch of us ended up at one of our usual after-hash haunts, the “Bumpy Corner” bar, after spending about half an hour stuck in the traffic in Grenville, grr. I knew I should’ve taken the Grand Bras bypass…
Next week, assuming that a certain two political leaders currently embroiled in a dick-waving competition don’t lead the world into global thermonuclear war, we’re in Perdmontemps, courtesy Cyprian.

On On


Hash #992

Hash #992Hash #992 was held on 5th August 2017 at Marian Playing Field, St. George and the hares for the day were Germaine Thomas-Xavier and friends.

Hashmaster’s Report: Hash #992
Attendance: 159
Yes, well this one had me concerned because the ice for the beer arrived only a few minutes before the On-On was given for the hash, but it all turned out well in the end as it was nice and cool when I returned (I took the Runners’ trail). The BBQ finished before I could get a taste of it though, grr… and of course everyone who got a piece said that it tasted great!

Hash #992Highlights from this hash…
1. The Runners’ Trail was supposed to be four miles but it ended up being almost seven miles for me and a few others, thanks to two Walkers who missed a turnoff and made us think that we were on a wrong trail! I awarded them appropriately after the Devirginization Ceremony…
2. Four, count them, FOUR, regular hashers going off early during the Devirginization Ceremony! Must be Full Moon Fever or something. Of course the reward for the “premature ejaculation” (of beer) was have to stand in with the Virgins and get sprayed too…
3. Rockelle, Rockelle, what can I say? You surprised me girl, winning the bottle of wine that was donated by Fast Manicou by being the first to down your beer without using your hands. Well done!

On On


Hash #991

Hash #991Hash #991 was held on 29th July 2017 at Bay Cottage Bar, Gouyave, St. John and the hares for the day were “Bling Ting” and Crew.

Hashmaster’s Report: Hash #991
Attendance: 160

It’s  been almost smooth sailing so far, and all of a sudden – disaster! Turns out that the next hash which was scheduled to start in Upper Corinth was actually going to be in Laura. Not only have we hashed in Laura several times, but the next hash after that was going to be only a mile or so away, and two hashes after that we’d be back in Laura again. So, I had to make a decision that was in the best interest of the hashers – another location had to be found for this week’s hash. So a few phone calls and WhatsApp messages later and the hash was moved to Bay Cottage Bar, just outside of Gouyave, courtesy “Bling Ting” and friends. And what a hash it was – great Runners’ trail (which I did) and the Walkers’ trail got good feedback as well. And of course, being a beach bar, it also turned out to be a perfect place to both start and end a hash. Good work “Bling Ting” on such short notice! Maybe we should do this more often…

Hash #991Highlights from this hash…
1. Walking by this pretty steep drop-off down to the river, I remarked “I hope no-one falls down there”, and then I looked over and saw some flattened bush, and said, “Hmm, it looks like someone did”. Sheldon Keens-Douglas, who was just a bit in front of me, shouted “He did!” and pointed out someone in front of him. And yes, the guy did look like he barrel-rolled a few times down the side of the hill, with bits of brush and mud all over the place. And not a scratch! Ok, one small one, but still… I told him to go buy a lottery ticket quickly before his luck ran out. BTW, I’ve already consulted my Naming Committee, and one has already been selected, so when I see you again…!
2. Catching “Foot Fetish” walking off with a bunch of stones in her hands. Oh “Foot Fetish”, if you didn’t have a name already, there definitely would have been one coming.
3. The Devirginization Ceremony seemed to be short a few virgins, one in particular. Oh well, I’ll catch you at the next hash – I don’t forget faces, muhahaha….


Hash #990

Hash #990Hash #990 was held on 22nd July 2017 at Melvin’s Hideaway, St. Patrick with Rohan Japal & friends as the hares.

Hashmaster’s Report: Hash #990
Attendance: 147
I  believe that this was a Virgin Hare Hash, so I had a just a slight bit of concern when “Grandad” decided to have a look at the trail during the week and e-mailed me a note saying that they were going to convert it from a simple Runners and Walkers trail to Long Runners, Short Runners, Long Walkers and Short Walkers. My concerns turned out to be unfounded though as, based on the feedback from the other hashers, the trails were excellent. I did manage to almost pass out on the Short Runners’ Trail a few times, but I put that down to the medication I’m currently on rather than the trail itself. And of course there was a lot of mud too, though not quite on Grand-Etang level.

Hash #990Highlights from this hash…
1. A working mike that unfortunately worked up to two feet away from where I wanted to stand to hold the ceremony, so it was back to shouting again. Only nineteen virgins this time around though, so no worries.
2. Rohan wasn’t around to give an outline of the trails, so it was left up to “Cheap Fares” and “Grandad”, his Assistant Hares (a.k.a. Ass. Hares) to do the necessary. Rohan’s Ass. Hares did a pretty good job of standing in for him – just goes to show that it’s always a good thing to get a few Ass. Hares involved when setting a hash…
3. Oh, so many doing the wrong thing concerning the Devirginization ceremony! One couple who missed the ceremony at the last hash, two ladies with shower-caps on who were obviously informed beforehand of what was going to happen (“Stayfree” was fingered as the likely culprit, but he denied it vigorously), and two more that joined the ceremony late. They were all “down-downed” accordingly for their transgressions.
4. “Mucky Draws” was away for awhile so we couldn’t celebrate her birthday in usual hasher-fashion. Not a problem – we just celebrated in the usual hasher-fashion today. Happy 70th, “Mucky Draws!”

On On



Hash #989 Bastille Day Hash

hash #989Hash #989 “Bastille Day Hash”  was held on 15th July 2017 at MonkeyBarz, Grand Etang, St. Andrew. The hares for the day were all the FSB’s (French Speaking Bastards).

Hashmaster’s Report: Hash #989
Attendance: 177

In the beginning, there was mud.

In the middle, there was mud.

In the end, there was mud.

The only thing that changed is how deep the mud was – which turned out to be anything from Teflon-like coating over rocks to knee-deep in some areas (and I got to experience all types, though not as “enthusiastically” as some other hashers, based on the several “AIYEE!!” sounds, and accompanying sounds of unplanned butt-planting, that I heard while on the hash). Thankfully the rain did hold up for the afternoon (I brought my automatic rain dismissal device with me – my waterproof camera), otherwise the mud would have been a lot worse. Unfortunately, there were not enough potential “candidates” for the Dirty Arse Muddy Butt competition, but I did get to subject the virgins to an impromptu quiz about hash terms, during which most of the participants failed miserably and were dealt with accordingly!

hash #9891. At last, back to a good working mic from the DJ. Let’s hope this trend continues…!

2. The impromptu Virgin Hash Quiz. The winner actually read the answer off of the Devirginization Certificate (yes, it was written in bold red hard-to-miss letters and was read out during the Devirginization Ceremony too, yet the first three contestants still got the answer wrong), so was “awarded” appropriately for that misdemeanor before being given the bottle of wine donated by Fast Manicou (John Hovan). I think I’m going to repeat the quiz sometime in the future…

3. Getting to celebrate Darren Faulkner‘s 50th birthday again as he had the misfortune of his birthday landing exactly between two hashes. “Mommy’s Boy” got to enjoy a birthday celebration though, being a dog, was probably wondering what the hell was going on…

On On


Hash #988

hash #988Hash #988 was held on 8th July 2017 at Morne Longue, St. Andrew.

Hashmaster’s  Report: Hash #988
Attendance: 138

Yes, yes, yes… I love these hashes that take us deep, deep, DEEP into the countryside, and this one really delivered. Not too long, not too short, and just when I was beginning to wonder if it was going to be a “road march”, we veered off into the forest (and the mud awaiting us there) and there we stayed all the way until almost the very end. Great trail Kelly and friends! Food was top notch too (I enjoyed that HUGE piece of BBQ chicken I got fresh off the grille) and the DJ was on point too, and even organized a working mic in quick time so I didn’t have to shout the instructions to the 30+ virgins that decided to join us this time around. This time around I did go back to the Walker’s Trail, which I will probably stick to for the near future as it allows me to get back in before most of the once-virgin hashers try to skip the virgin ceremony, muhaha.

hash #988Highlights from this hash…

1. My assistant hash-flash Jamar spending five minutes trying to figure out why the camera’s viewfinder was showing only black, only to discover the lens cap was still on….

2. Celebrating Daniel Faulkner’s 50th. Of course his birthday does fall on this Wednesday, which is the middle of the week, so we may need to re-celebrate at the next hash this Saturday…

3. Finding out that not only was it Mike “Wet Lettuce” Bingly’s birthday, but that he also managed to dodge the devirginization ceremony so many years ago when he started hashing. Of course that transgression had to be addressed, so he was treated to the Down-down Triple – Dotty Potty, Wizard’s Sleeve and of course the Hash Shit Of The Week.

4. Che “Virgin Giver” Cummings decided to rejoin us after about two years of absence. So, having qualified himself as an “occasional hasher”, we “awarded” him accordingly. Welcome back Che!

On On